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Ohhh stop crying over some stupid "heartbreak" and suck it up, you loooooserrrrrrr.

Actually, love is non existant before marriage. It's all BS.

@ Hisham: prove it. Millions of people all over the world love each other without being married to one another. They've been doing so for thousands of years. Are you really going to make the argument that, absent some religious ceremony solidifying a legal commitment, their affections are all "non-existent"? Your belief that it is "all BS" is merely your opinion, it isn't even close to reality.

Most of the greatest marriages were love marriages. And even in arranged marriages, love is not guaranteed. Totally got it right Miss Desidoll5!

Alright desi doll what does love mean? If people "love" each other why is there such a thing as "break up" or divorce? First and foremost tel me what is your definition of "love"?

I'll tell you my definition, its accepting the other person with all their shortcomings. There is no way you can tell about the other person's shortcomings before you actually start living together. In today's world love is non existent. I could say I love you bu8t then break up tomorrow because I realize I don't like your nose and I see someone better.

1) People live together all the time without being married to each other. You may not like it, but it happens and it's been happening for a long time. You don't have to be married to somebody to live with them. To make the argument that people who live together without being married don't love each other or don't know the other person's shortcomings is no argument at all. A couple can live together for 10 years without being married, are you really going to argue that after ten years they don't know the other person's shortcomings simply b/c they didn't go through with some religious ceremony? There are people in this world who do not need a religious ceremony to show commitment to one another. They know what their feelings for each other are, and it's not your place to judge or make blanket statements that love is "non-existent" simply because you don't agree with their definition of love. 2) saying you love someone and meaning it are two different things. If someone says "i love you" and then leaves you the next day, they never loved you to begin with. 3) people break up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes two people can love each other but one person has to move away so they break up because they would be too far away to see each other. It doesn't mean that they stop loving each other, it just means that circumstances won't allow for a relationship. Sometimes people get divorces because the person they love has a psychological problem that leads to domestic violence. Would you suggest that a victim of domestic violence stay with their spouse simply because he said he loves her? Should she accept his shortcomings? "Love" alone will not make any relationship work. The fact that some relationships don't work out and some marriages end in divorce does not mean that love is non-existent. After all, there are plenty of relationships that do work out. There are plenty of marriages that last a lifetime. 4) your definition of love does not apply to everybody. If you think that you can only say "i love you" to one person only one time in your life, that doesn't mean that it applies to everybody. It is merely your opinion of what love is, it is not fact. Love is different things to different people. There are people in this world who have genuinely loved more than one person in their lives. You may not think that it is love, but you are not any authority on "love" so you don't get to decide how other people feel. You do not get to declare love as "non-existent" in this entire world because the way people commit to each other doesn't quite meet up with what you think they should do.

BTW, my definition of love is irrelevant. My definition is not everybody's definition, and I do not get to impose my definition of love on other people. I don't get to analyze another person's relationship with my definition of love and then, when it doesn't make the grade, say that there was no love in the relationship. In any relationship, the only people who can define their love are those two people in that particular relationship. Their definitions of love are the only ones that count. Even if I were to analyze ten relationships, I can't judge them as being devoid of love because they don't meet my definition of love. I can say that, in my opinion, they did not really love each other, but I cannot say that "love is non existent before marriage". Bottom line: people don't need a religious ceremony or a piece of paper signed by the justice of the peace to show their love and commitment to each other. That love and commitment manifests itself and different ways, and your way is no more right than their way. :)

Okay, I give. You prove to me that 'love' does exist?

I know love exists because I see it. My father is a very, very sick man. Three of his vital organs are failing him right now. Two years ago, he was in a hospital for nearly two months. My mother has stood by him from the very minute he got sick. She attends every single doctor's appointment. She drives him everywhere. She makes food he likes even if she doesn't like it. She helps him bathe. She helps him get dressed. She runs his business and she runs his home. She learned to operate a video camera to take video of my brother playing soccer for school so that my father could see it, since he cannot sit outside at the games for very long. Another example: my cousin was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma about 2 weeks after her engagement was announced. Her fiance was told quite plainly that he would not be blamed in any way if he wanted to back out of the engagement. Our family (through my grandfather) said that we would understand if he felt it would be better to not deal with the stress of her illness and the possibility of never having children by her. He did not. He stood by my cousin. He went to every appointment and was there through all of her chemo. She lost all her hair and he married her anyway. She was told she'd never conceive and he stood by her even then. Another example: another cousin started dating her boyfriend 3 years ago. My uncle hated the guy and tried absolutely everything to keep them apart. Several family members tried to drive a wedge between them. It never worked. They have been together for three years, are stronger than ever, and are planning to get married once she graduates. And yet another example: my own boyfriend was laid off about 6 months into our relationship. He is here on a visa and I am a natural born US citizen. His parents are relatively well off and he could easily have gone home and gotten a job in his dad's company. He did not. He stayed here, looking for work and going to school simply because he would not leave me. Because of his love and respect for me, he didn't even ask me to marry him, which technically would have been easier than holding out for a job that would give him a proper visa. Those four examples are just off the top of my head. :)

Yeah of course your parent's love exists because they are married. I am saying OUTSIDE of marriage.

I've already given you the example of my own (unmarried) relationship and my cousin's own (unmarried) relationship that has been going on for nearly three years now. My two close friends from undergrad are from different faiths (he's catholic and she is sikh) and they have been together for 4 years now and are very happy. Two other friends from college got together and they too are from different faiths. Things got difficult because of their families for a little while but they stuck with it and are now perfectly happy with one another. An old roommate from college fell in love with a guy down the hall. They are now living together in new york (and are not married). A family friend's daughter has been happily dating her boyfriend for five years. Both families know and don't care when/if they get married. In fact in the examples I have stated in this post, the parties involved don't care all that much about being married. For millions of people all over the world, marriage is merely a legal contract that governs the ownership of property, tax responsibilities, and custody of children. They don't necessarily need it; their love for each other doesn't require entry into that contract in order to be valid in their own eyes and the eyes of their families and friends. . The bottom line: People can NOT be married - and yet - they still love each other. Marriage does always equal love. It also does not guarantee love. You don't need to be married to know and experience love, and even if someone is married, that is no guarantee that they love the other person.

3rd line from the bottom: **Marriage DOESN'T always equal love**...typo :)

@Hisham, I assure you, there is true love before marriage. In fact, because of the high divorce rate, people are taking longer in the dating process to solidify their relationships and make sure that they are building the proper relationships for a marriage. And some stay together for the rest of their lives without the legal constraint of marriage and do it better and more sincere justice than some married people. And obviously, marriage does not insure love as you have said yourself with people breaking up and getting divorces. If marriage, arranged or otherwise, guaranteed love, there would be no divorce at all. And speaking as one who was in an arranged marriage, just because you say those vows and work hard at it, you can't force love. It's either there or not.

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